[ uhn-kuhmf-tuh-buh l , -kuhm-fer-tuh-buh l ]
1. causing a discomfort or distress; painful; irritating
2. in a state of discomfort; uneasy; conscious of stress or strain
I’m re-reading my post on goals I set for 2017, and I mentioned that 2016 felt kind of stagnant. Nothing happened. I didn’t get anything from it. In 2017, I wanted to accomplish things and make myself feel productive and successful. And I didn’t do that.
I didn’t venture far outside of the box, and I didn’t do notable things. And by saying that, it seems like I didn’t have any good come out of 2017, which I’m finding isn’t true. The year was traumatic for so many people, but I think from that came a lot of inspiration and motivation. I know I learned a tremendous amount about myself in 2017. And alongside goals I made for myself, which I’ll touch on a little later, I wanted to share with you a few of the lessons 2017 taught me about myself and why my driving focus and word to propel me through 2018 is uncomfortable.
The first thing I learned about myself this past year is I’m not bad with money, I’m bad with being intentional with money.
I successfully set up a 3 month emergency account. I separated my discretionary money from money that covers my bills and other living expenses (because I know myself, and I’d spend it). I learned and began to use my credit cards skillfully–like taking advantage of cashback features and paying more than the minimum balances. I’m not bad with money; I understand smart practices for money management. My problem is I’m not intentional with I spend that money on. I noticed so much waste and so many places I could be saving where I was mindlessly spending.
The next lesson learned is a positive one and negative one: I have dreams–big dreams–and I seriously need to reel it in. At the start of 2017 my aim was to be a fashion journalist. Then I took a trip to Washington D.C., went through some museums, and started researching how to become a museum designer–not a content curator, but actually designing the interior design of the building (I mean that’d be cool, right?). Now (at the time I’m writing this), it’s December, and I want to further my education in behavioral economics and am considering potential schools as I type.
I think it’s amazing to have dreams and want to do fantastical things, but there’s a point that you have to realize everything can’t be fantasy. Eventually you have to make a decision. I’m 24, and I feel like I have wasted so much time by not focusing in on one subject and mastering it. Instead I’ve bounced around from idea to idea, not fully committing to any of them. In 2018, one of my main personal, financial, and wellness goals is to hone in on my long-term career, my field. I’m really challenging myself to stick to that and make some serious leaps.
In 2017 I learned that in the argument of flats vs. heels…I choose flats. A younger version of myself I thought heels meant I had it all. I looked professional and sexy and badass, but in the reality, I don’t get much done in heels. Of course I wear them when I dress up or want to wear them, but on an everyday basis, flats are just so much more comfortable. Invest in a good pair of flats, trust me on this one–especially if you’re in a job that requires you to be on your feet and moving around all day.
I like to talk about sex, and I love to talk about my period–and not only mine, yours too. These were two totally taboo topics to me before 2017. I kept my thoughts my own and didn’t really want anyone to judge me about anything on these lines, but now I just don’t care. There’s something so empowering about being able to sit around with other women and disclosing details and questions and thoughts that you’ve kept to yourself beforehand.
The most eye-opening lesson I learned about myself in 2017 is that I am lazy, and I am lazy because I am comfortable. I’m extremely content in my relationship, and I’m coming to be my own person. Those are two comfortable situations I don’t intend to change. However, I’m comfortable in a few aspects of my life that, I think, are hindering me from reaching my most passionate goals and moving forward.
I’m sitting in a job I’m not crazy about because I like my co-workers, and the pay gives me the ability to cover my monthly expenses as well as have a decent discretionary income. I’ve also been putting off applying to jobs I genuinely think I have a good shot at, or applying for the aforementioned grad school options, because I’m scared to pick up and move from the comfort of West Virginia. I have a web of support here. I know my way around. I know which restaurants I like and places that are safe vs. unsafe. I don’t think I’m the only one who is scared to move away and take risks, but the comfort of here is what’s keeping me planted.
In 2018, I want to challenge myself to be uncomfortable. I’m at a time in my life where, I believe, I have to start making changes and moving forward toward reaching my goals and creating the life I have envisioned for myself. I can’t continue to let comfort make me lazy and dictate the opportunities I present myself with. Because in the long run, I will only be hurting myself.
I feel so many of us have the same thoughts and fears, and we also feel that there’s a limited number of people who share those thoughts and fears. If you feel similarly about comfort, please mention it in the comments. I want to start conversations this year.
Also, if you have chosen a word to push you through 2018, what is it? I’d love to know and to know your reasoning behind it.